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Get Real! Hopping Mad About Herpes – Rewire

Oral herpes isn’t a huge deal given how many people have it but the “I could never catch it!” logic Pepperham uses makes my eye twitch. I don’t like this spin because of the medical risks and because having genital herpes really isn’t the same as having a cold sore. What I did not know is that regular  STD screenings do NOT include screenings for herpes. maybe i’m a prude (and believe me I’m not a prude) but i would not want to go near him. She said she noticed he switched condoms and he started using Lifestyle black tuxedo condoms(call me a prude, but I have never seen them or heard of them before and I buy condoms) I was thinking dude was probably hiding his breakouts so she couldn’t see them. I think you have a better chance of catching something by getting shat on by a diseased pigeon on a strafing run. Once a person {contracts,is infected} by this cold sore virus then there is no permanent cure available on the market.

At any rate, taken together, the world’s got a cool half-a-billion herpes-positive people between the ages of 15 and 49. The last time I went to his house I saw a BULK sized bottle of Lysine on the kitchen sink. She tells me it feels like she’s known me forever and she’s never felt so comfortable with someone so quickly. The offical pamphlet from Planned Parenthood even says that the immune system is able to clear the virus. I knew it was gross because people that didn’t even have herpes were telling me it was gross. I feel dirty, ashamed, and like I should have known better. Should we stop making a fuss?

You can imagine how much everyone loved me during the week we all found out the hard way that I had mononucleosis and had spread it to nearly the entire junior class in the span of around fifteen minutes of kissy-greetings. I couldn’t have known I had mono, mind you, because I hadn’t had symptoms yet, and even if I had, I likely wouldn’t have been able to figure out that’s what it was until I was sick for a week or more, despite growing up with a healthcare professional. But too, mono is so common, and chances are good that if it wasn’t me who passed it around, someone was going to eventually and most of us were going to get it. The stigmas around the disease certainly don’t help the way I feel about myself. I wouldn’t nix the deal on that basis alone, although I know plenty of people who are scared. I can’t begin to tell you how many people in the world don’t know that they have oral Herpes, and don’t know that cold sores are a symptom of oral herpes. Most people get it in childhood and have no memory of sores (some won’t have them at all) back then when they contracted it, and some people will never see a sore again, even though they have and can possibly transmit Herpes.

to find a {home,natural,holistic} {cure,remedy}. And if your whole family had it, you might very well have the same attitudes about it as his do. Plenty of doctors will refer to oral herpes as “cold sores,” and not explain that those sores are Herpes symptoms, and that the emergence of those sores — and the time just before — also signals the period of the highest risk of transmission. This woman trips me out like you would not believe. I highly suggest going there. I surely wouldn’t break up with someone if they had a cold sore on their mouth. But when even healthcare pros and others in the know don’t pass this information along to laymen, we can only hold laymen so responsible.

Some of that “Oh, it’s nothing,” stuff comes from the fact that oral Herpes is one of the most common and benign viruses out there. As many as 80% of people in the U.S. people have it, and most contract it in childhood from casual, everyday contact. If people act like it’s normal, it might have to do with the fact that it is normal: more people have Herpes than not, and it’s pretty safe to say that all of us have been exposed to it in life, usually multiple times before we’ve even started being worried about cooties, let alone Herpes. Sorry bee. I thought it was something only older people got, but I was quite young (mid 30s). For sure, it’s sound to figure our risks of, say, Syphilis are very minimal if we have sex with someone who has never had any kind of sex with anyone else, because that’s an infection that is often only sexually transmitted.


But oral Herpes isn’t Syphilis, not when it comes to its epidemiology, and also not when it comes to the possible severity of effects it can have on your life. Heck, for most people even Syphilis isn’t Syphilis anymore in that respect. Oral herpes really isn’t likely to be that big of a deal when it comes to your health and the health of others. I swear. it’s easier for a woman to acquire this virus than it is a man. As far as having a child, this will NOT stop you from having a child. It says something unfortunate happened to me and I’m not going to let it negatively affect my life just because someone else says it should and neither should any of you, because speaking from experience, it really isn’t that big of a deal even if it feels like it is sometimes.

Herpes can also be transmitted when there are no symptoms present. There are several days throughout the year when the virus reactivates yet causes no symptoms (called asymptomatic shedding, viral shedding, or asymptomatic reactivation). If a person is experiencing symptoms orally, we recommend abstaining from performing oral sex and kissing others directly on the mouth until signs have healed and the skin looks normal again. Because most adults have oral herpes, we do not advise that a person stop giving or receiving affection altogether between outbreaks (when there are no signs or symptoms) simply because they have oral herpes. However, using a barrier (such as a dental dam) or condom when performing oral sex (even though there are no symptoms present around the mouth) can reduce the risk of contracting genital herpes. You’ve also done an awesome thing by posting this thread. Although this question was originally posed 4 years ago, I’d like to correct a misleading answer above.

Also, and even more importantly, most adults already have oral HSV-1, contracted as a child through kissing relatives or friends. In many ways Herpes really IS no big deal for most people. In immunosuppressed (in case it’s not obvious, people whose immune systems are suppressed, or not functioning well) people, Herpes, like many any virus, can present some serious health risks. Having herpes — though more often this is about genital herpes, rather than oral — can also up the risks of us acquiring other infections sometimes. But for the most part, not only is there nothing dirty about it, there’s not usually anything dangerous about it either. It’s unlikely to impact your health or your life, though how you think about it can certainly have an impact. You say that you feel dirty and ashamed, despite the fact that the virus you contracted has nothing to do with cleanliness, and is about as common as the common cold.

It is no more or less dirty than cold viruses, leukemia, the flu or chicken pox (which is in the same family as the Herpes virus). I understand why you feel that way, but only because our culture has stigmatized some viruses rather than others, often based on all kinds of isms and phobias, and in this case, based on the fact that Herpes viruses can be sexually or intimately transmitted, which is the case for a ton of illness including, again, things like colds and flus. We can probably factor in, too, that looksism is a factor, as Herpes sores are visible. Sure, it makes sense in some degree for all of us to want to be healthy, and not have illnesses, and to view illness as something we want to avoid. But if you didn’t feel this way if and when you got the chicken pox, and don’t feel this way when you get the seasonal sniffles, I think your feelings about this illness probably have more to do with stigmatization coming from a not-so-great place than with worries about your health. I’m not wagging fingers at you, by the way: none of us are immune (no pun intended) from these attitudes, and we do live in a world where we have to deal with these notions. Just swallow your pride and go to the doctor, you can get a perscription for like $5 and it has almost no side effects and works really well.

Stress presents more health risks than HSV-I does. I’d also try to let go of your anger towards him, his family and yourself. None of you did anything wrong, nor is there anything wrong with you besides being human and being people who don’t live in a plastic bubble. We pick up viruses in life, and while there absolutely are plenty of things we can do to reduce our risks, there really is nothing we can do to remove those risks completely. This is just the world we live in, whether we have never kissed anyone before or we volunteer to run the kissing booth every year without fail. You say you should have known better, but what I wonder is what you mean when you say that. How would you have behaved instead?

I think it’s safe to say that most of us don’t ask everyone we kiss, be it romantically or platonically — and that would include relatives and friends — if they have ever had a cold sore before we kiss them. We don’t also tend to give people we’re used to kissing a super-close inspection of their mouth before we kiss them. And I think we all know how often a friend will have us taste something they’re drinking, or we share water bottles, without many of us giving it any thought at all. Now, if Herpes was very dangerous to us (and again, for some groups of people it is), it would make sense to do and ask things like that, though we’d likely also be asking then if they had been sick with anything else lately, too, if it was safe for us to have that close of contact at all. But a lot of why we don’t tend to engage in those kinds of behaviors is because it’s usually not dangerous, because our quality of life (which includes relaxed affection with people) is also a factor in the choices we make, and because in a lot of ways, there is just very little we can do to avoid being exposed to oral Herpes, and we’re either going to get it or not, which is also often based on pretty random factors. My advice to you at this point, beyond trying to adjust your headspace on this, is just to talk to you own doctor about oral Herpes. You absolutely can discuss and consider treatments, if you like, which reduce outbreaks for you.

Any way, that really sucks obviously, but it doesn’t have to be a big deal. An etiquette point: I don’t know what “freaking out” is for you, but when I say I freaked out on someone, I’m usually talking about some pretty high-key behavior on my part where I am not being particularly sensitive to the feelings of others. If that’s what it means for you, too, and it involved any shame or blame to this guy or his family about their Herpes, I would personally say an apology is likely in order. It feels pretty crappy to be treated like a leper, even if you have lepracy, and all the more so when you don’t. I don’t know what your feelings are per if this is still a relationship you want to pursue, but whether you do or you don’t, I’d make some peace. After all, you clearly don’t like how you’re feeling right now, so you can imagine how they probably don’t like feeling that way, either.